I’ve spent this last week in limbo concerning a lot to do with my circumstances. Some by external influence, some not, some I’m even contemplating. Truth be known I’ve neglected all gym visits this week and my diet has not been a good example but even still, I’ve given my mind a workout. It’s a wonder what one can learn in a week! I’m very content with where I am at with myself, in between learning and experiencing that is. I’ve so much to learn still and realise that effort has to always be 100% otherwise there is that lack of a better word or deed.
Efe the bombastically driven is home again, the time since he was last here feels nothing more than a week but that’s the gift of where time stops for no man. I worked Friday evening with our new girl who is over from Istanbul. Anne has her hospital appointment tomorrow to further explore the condition of her thyroid which is becoming more toxic to her than anything. I hope for a clear outcome and a speedy recovery but until that is as certain as it can be, we all have to pull together.
Two stories spring to my mind as I type this, one from my past and one from my present. Maybe this is a true interpretation, maybe misleading, maybe I will see tomorrow to make more sense from it. The possibilities are endless…
It was September 1992 when Efe and I joined Holy Trinity (CoE) Primary school. I found it funny that I took a boy’s place who left that I knew from childhood friends in a different neighbourhood. I was nervous of the change on many levels, we were still struggling as a family being torn. I enjoyed Elliot Bank but we left abruptly to prevent outside influences from taking the piss furthermore. The boy from the “Copeman” (how apt!) neighbourhood advised me on my new peers, who was a joker, troublemaker, best at football, best teacher’s pet, et cetera.
HT is a small school. Only one class per year and not even catering facilities, those who required school dinners would walk to the nearest high school to have lunch. The local library and swimming baths parallel to us, it was easy learning in many ways. Our classes filled with students from all sorts of backgrounds, spanning a few continents even! It was a cosy time in my life, in hindsight but the 9 year old of me would tell you different.
During the afternoon part of our day, before playtime, I was called to the head’s office. I was glad to get out of the lesson for Kings and Queens of England never fascinated me in the slightest, but then again… Why the head?! Did I do something wrong? Has something happened to my brothers? My mother or father??? The churning in my stomach in the 10 yards it took to get to the head’s office made me fear the worst.
“Hello Nilüfer, please take a seat.”“Ok… Is there something the matter?” I asked with the 10 yards fear.
“Not at all! I wanted to see how you have been settling in, are you enjoying your time here?”
“Yeahh… Everyone is really nice.”
“Good, you must let me know if you feel awkward or have any problems. Well, Nilüfer, the reason why I’ve called you in is because I need your help. We have a new student joining your class on Monday. She is from Northern Cyprus and doesn’t comprehend a word of English. She is your age and since you are our only student with fluent Turkish, I need your help with helping her settle in.”My fear left me instantly as she explained more about this new student. I felt honoured for the responsibility and told my head teacher I looked forward to helping as much as I could. All the people who sat at the same table as me gave me the Spanish Inquisition on what happened, so I told them. In turn we talked about the sudden change which was going to happen to our class, again!
Bearing in mind it was probably only a couple of months into having moved there myself, I was already appointed to a responsibility. I was excited for being like a “big sister” to a newbie. Her name is Bahar (meaning “Spring”) and she was timid by nature. We were sat together and I had permission to talk in class as I had to translate the lessons and explain meanings, also had to check over her work to see if she was on the same wavelength as us.
After a while the shine began to wear off the liberties I had over my peers and constantly having to double, double check everything I said and did, for myself and Bahar. I began feeling the strain of having a shadow in all aspects of school. I was encouraged and congratulated by so many teachers for being “so helpful” but they didn’t know how claustrophobic I felt to be at beck and call everyday.
Bahar and I resided in the same hostel at the time too. She, with her family waiting for permanent housing, living in the cramped conditions of such life. We lived on the floor below and anne being the polite, helpful, person she was (and still is) would have tea with her mum where they bonded over circumstances.
I was only at HT for two academic years (the last two before secondary school) and for a year and a half of those academic years, I was Bahar’s chaperone, translator, “friend”. The use of inverted commas because of the friendship forced of the circumstances but I can admit that I wasn’t really a friend to her, to much of my own disappointment. But that’s life in some aspects I guess. I felt bitter and trapped by my responsibility and I should’ve known better but I didn’t.
Years later when we got the shops and I took on the business’ with the same outlook of responsibility, I was reminded of this part of my past when the new girl working in the chippy arrived. She has broken English and is here to study the language so when she goes back to Istanbul it will help her life there. Originally from Mongolia, it is a fascinating chain of events that occurred since I stopped working and began thinking about working once again.
There are many reasons to explain my departure but all are epic in their own right. The aftermath of such reasons allowed me the “breathing space” relief of deciding (without having to work) what I would do with my days. The sinking feeling that I could be making yet another mistake worried me so much but I had to stick to my decisions, either way. Searching for a sign at every turn where I thought there were none.
The Mongolian girl who arrived a few weeks ago came with the sole intention of getting into a language school to help her English. She is the responsibility of herself first and foremost, my dad’s friend in Istanbul secondly, and thirdly of my father for his friend asked of this from him. Baba arranged for her accommodation at a “friend of a friend’s” in the meantime. Anne has been looking to hire someone too and once the arguments died down (between baba) she hired “bogey”. Don’t get me wrong, there is no malice intention by putting that name in commas! It is simply how the girl’s name is pronounced.
In the first week of her working with us it became evident of the declining word of the man’s house she was staying in. The word of such man who had ulterior motives behind the exploitation that is a possibility, under the circumstances. Anne would come home and tell me about her day, at first I thought if she was having a dig at me but then the reasons appeared. A week and a half went by before I pieced the puzzle together and stepped back to view the result…
“You know Nil, I’m not happy with how her name sounds. She realises what the pronunciation means in English.”
“Yeah, I really wanted to laugh when she told me her name!” saying as I laughed.
“Don’t be so mean! I’ve given her a new name anyhow. We’re calling her Cicek from now on!”
The next evening baba tells me that Cicek’s mother’s name is the same as anne’s! Which would seem like a coincidence but I don’t believe in them. The name anne chose for her means “flower” in English and it’s all meshed together rather well, these circumstances.
Cicek is hardworking and has easily bonded with us now. She no longer lives in one of the rooms above our shop as it was clear that this man she was staying with turned out to be a bit of a crook. She is happy to work with us and we with her too until she saves enough money to enroll in a language school. Everyone is really happy with how this is all panning out so I let go of that guilty feeling that I’d somehow left anne in the lurch with shop but the guilt of not working in the business’ at all still a stamp in my heart that I cannot cover.
I’ve reasoned with these decisions in many ways and still looking for my signs there being none other than chores at home which has occupied my time more. Trying to help Bobo at every turn too as begins the stages of the big physical and mental changes, puberty has begun for him and I can’t say I’d like to play a fanfare for him because he’s got a right gob on him these days which I fantasise about slapping. Violience is never the answer though, so don’t worry. I keep my hands in my pockets when I’m trying to reason with him.
Then comes the second story in all this which begun when I changed my mind about attending three birthday parties last night. I had been invited earlier on in the week and though I RSVP’d as “attending”, if it weren’t for the exhausting conversation had with Efe and Bobo yesterday afternoon, I think I still would have gone. After these conversations I chose a night at the cinema instead and got myself showered and ready to leave for that intention.
Putting my shoes on at the door Bobo approached me to inquire where I was going, I didn’t want to tell him as it almost always feels like I’m rubbing it in his face like “I’m going, you’re not, ha-ha”.
“Ohhhhhhhh I forgot to tell Efe to go to the shop at 4pm! Baba wanted to do a food shop whilst Efe took care of the shop!” he tells me just as I’m thinking about sweet or savoury popcorn.
Plugged into my iPod as I walk down the hill towards our businesses, the minute I see baba alone in the DC I changed my mind once again of my evening plans. I went nextdoor to the chippy to tell anne that I wasn’t going out so not to give me money as I wouldn’t need it now. She sympathised with the fact that it was too cold anyhow and a trek. Making myself some scampi I dodged glances from the queue in the shop to get a drink and a scoop of chips.
We closed the shop together and then went to get food for home. During this mission I listened to baba tell me of something that happened during his day.
“Friday evening just as I was closing up, a customer came in to drop off a suit and trousers. I asked for his number so I could print his ticket from the computer on Saturday morning.” NB: We have a computerised ticket system. Customers are stored by their names and contact numbers. If they’ve not come to us before, they get an account set up with us.
“He insisted that the garments are ready for collection Saturday, so we left it at that. On Saturday morning I made up his ticket from the computer and his garments went in with the first load of drycleaning. It was pressed and packaged and then hung on the rail. So this evening **he’s talking about yesterday evening here** when I went to shut down the computer and till, I remembered about these garments so I looked for them on the rail.” NB: When a garment is collected from our shop the ticket for the garment which lists all the pieces of clothing, is taken off the packaging and kept for our records. This ticket has a specific number for the garments on the computer system. It is put through the system at the end of the day (as are many other tickets) to calculate the takings of the day. The reason for keeping the tickets until the very end of the day is because people tend to send other family members or friends to pick up garments. If they then come into our shop without their customer ticket then they can’t argue that we’ve still got/lost their garments as we show them the shop’s ticket. Meaning collection has taken place.
“I couldn’t find the shop ticket for this man’s garments either. I tried to look him up on the system.” NB: Customer records can be found on the system by three ways. Their ticket number, their telephone number, or their name. Out of all of these we tend to remember the name more.
“His ticket didn’t show on the system either. What do you think could’ve happened to them?” he asked me and this is my reasoning for this which also concerns the girl who works for us in the DC.
1. She gave the garments, took the money for the garments, not put the money in the till, and destroyed the shop ticket.
2. She knew the customer and didn’t take the payment as a gesture of freebie.
3. Either way, it is stealing.
So when baba went to clean the machinery this morning he also sift through yesterday’s trash to locate the shop ticket for this particular customer. Unfortunately for Vickey, he didn’t find it. But, he found an old individual garment ticket for this customer and called him. The customer expressed that he did indeed collect his garments and told baba that he came around 14:30. This was the time that baba was on a delivery so Vickey was in the shop alone.
All in all there is a major possibility that Vickey stole the money. Reason being unknown to us but it doesn’t matter, our trust is completely lost in her now. When she started working for us anne didn’t like her because “things keep going missing”. Though we knew she blamed Vickey but baba gave her the benefit of the doubt. Now this has happened, it’s a confirmation of V’s intentions.
This afternoon when Efe and I spoke with baba we decided that V would be sacked. There is no way that a customer garment account would go missing on our system, unless it is done unintentionally. In saying that Efe also expressed that he’s staying with us until his holidays are over so he doesn’t mind working until then. I then too offered my assistance after Efe leaves for uni again, meaning I’m back.
I’m going to be working again. My prayers have been answered. I’ve seen my sign.
It’s fascinating baba then turned to me to tell me something which I doubt will ever leave me.
“God certainly works in mysterious ways. I was fixated on finding out if that customer collected his garments and find out instead that an employee has been stealing from us.”
There are lessons to be learnt in everything that happens in our lives, one has just got to be willing to learn. We have a responsibility to be noble, respectful, and caring towards each other no matter what. Sometimes we neglect these core givens to pursue a selfish agenda but in the end, we will learn. Have hope, my friends.
Nil xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
